I try to avoid vulgarity on my website but the Gen-Z slang “fuck around and find out” is so evocative and applicable to many family court situations that a blog on the topic might provide guidance to my more headstrong clients.
There is a certain subset of family law clients who will do what they please and refuse to heed their attorney’s advice. These follks are frequently the same clients who believe that they hire an attorney to “fight for them.” If that attorney isn’t getting them everything they want, they take that to mean their attorney is unwilling to “fight.”
Much of the most stressful and unpleasant part of family law practice is trying to prevent clients from making their situation worse. The same behaviors—frequently stemming from personality disorders or substance abuse issues—that lead folks to needing a family law attorney often manifest as a belief that they know the culture of family court better than the experienced attorneys they hire. These clients do what they please and refuse to accept counsel on the consequences of their reckless behavior. I can explain the anticipated ramifications of their actions but, if they don’t believe me, they will simply proceed incautiously until I seek to be relieved as their attorney or the other side asks the family court to intervene. At that point, heeding my counsel will likely not prevent the negative ramifications of recent misbehavior.
I’ve had more than one client tell me, the opposing counsel/party, or even a judge that they can do what they want and no one has the right to tell them otherwise. Judges have powerful remedies to disabuse folks of such foolish notions. One of my goals in representing headstrong clients is to prevent the imposition of these remedies. That often involves counseling clients to stop fucking around.[1] One hopes to prevent such clients from finding out what a family court judge can do.
A client’s belief that her or she can do whatever they want and reject their attorney’s advice without consequence is a pathway to horrific and avoidable outcomes. The attorney counseling a client to stop fucking around is merely trying to prevent that client from finding out.
[1] The South Carolina Lawyer Civility oath would caution the use of vulgar language with clients. The very clients most prone to “fucking around” are likely most prone to reporting their attorney to the office of disciplinary counsel.
I have limited experience practicing in the Family Court arena but I will definitely attest to the fact that clients who have “fucked around” definitely “found out” with respect to Circuit Court Judges in General Sessions matters.
Excellent blog. Wise words. I hear the phrase from my Gen Z son frequently, as to many situations. He will be a great lawyer.
No really good lawyer “war story” begins with “the clients were such fine, calm, saintly people”