A legal argument I have often made (never successfully) and would love to eventually appeal is whether a parent’s legal obligation to support his or her minor child should terminate as a matter of law when that child has legal and physical custody of his or her own child. Typically, this situation arises when a teenage girl bears and keeps a child born out-of-wedlock. See S.C. Code Ann. § 63-17-20(B) (Unless the court orders otherwise, the custody of an illegitimate child is solely in the natural mother unless the mother has relinquished her rights to the child). The court does not presume this teen mother is emancipated, and thus her parents’ obligation to provide her financial support doesn’t end. Instead, South Carolina courts have determined that the issue of “[w]hether a child has been emancipated depends on the facts and circumstances of each case.” Purdy v. Purdy, 353 S.C. 400, 578 S.E.2d 30 (Ct.App.2003). However, I cannot understand the logic that one can have legal and physical custody of a child without being emancipated: how can one have legal control over another’s life without having legal control of one’s own life? The family court has never accepted my logic and continues to require parents to support their minor children in circumstances in which those children have legal possession of their own children.
Thus, I was completely confounded to realize that South Carolina has a statute requiring grandparents to pay child support for their grandchildren when their own minor child bears a child out-of-wedlock. Yet S.C. Code Ann. § 63-17-350 requires:
When a child is born to parents, either or both of whom are unmarried and under eighteen years of age, the Child Support Enforcement Division of the State Department of Social Services may pursue support and maintenance of that child from one or both of the child’s maternal and paternal grandparents as long as the parent of the child is under eighteen years of age.
Evidently, this statute was an outgrowth of the Federal Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996 (a/k/a Clinton’s welfare reform). Buried within this act, is a provision that added subsection 18 to 42 U.S.C. 666(a):
(18) Enforcement of orders against paternal or maternal grandparents. – Procedures under which, at the State’s option, any child support order enforced under this part with respect to a child of minor parents, if the custodial parent of such child is receiving assistance under the State program under part A of this subchapter, shall be enforceable, jointly and severally, against the parents of the noncustodial parent of such child.
This subsection grants states the option of collecting child support from grandparents for grandchildren if the parent is a minor. South Carolina is one of the states that has chosen to pursue this opinion. To date there are no reported cases in which South Carolina courts have ordered a grandparent to pay child support and I am unaware of any cases at the family court level. However by what due process logic can we require grandparents to support their grandchildren? Generally obligations flow from rights and grandparents have few rights regarding their grandchildren and no right to custody of their grandchildren. I’m surprised some grandparent hasn’t brought a due process defense to these grandparent child support statutes (it may be that there are so few attempts to actually make grandparents pay such child support that no due process argument has been raised).
If the logic of making a parent financially support a child who has custody of his or her own child is perplexing, the logic of making that parent support their child’s own child is stupefying. From what reasoning can such a requirement be imposed? These statutes feed my belief that the primary goal of family law isn’t family stability but merely to insure that children and dependent spouses do not become wards of the state.
I wonder what the implications are for a 17 year old who delivers a child on Medicaid- can a parent still claim her (her natural child) as a dependent if the pregnancy is Medicad funded? Also, if grandparent claims granchild as a dependent- can s/he?- then there should be a support obligation-but in that case grandparent is prob supporting. We need a Medicaid expert and tax person to weigh in.
One certainly can’t line up the law of custody and support here. Undoubtedly legislators had something like Bristol Palin on their minds, but the reality is that girls who have babies are often out of the house most of the time, under little or no parental control.
I’ve seen DSS cases where fifteen year old girls vanished for months, living with boyfriends and showed up with a baby when they got thrown out and replaced by the baby Daddy, who after all was in this for fun, not diapers.
I’m a grandmother and I was forced to pay child support for my grand daughter. My son and his girlfriend were both under 18 at the time she was born. His girlfriend is on public assistance with her family and so the courts came after me because I work. I had to pay $797/month support for each of the 11 months until my son turned 18. It was calcuated based on my salary not my son’s. In the courts I was treated as if I was the father of the child with no regard to the circumstances or the hardships this caused me having to pay this large sum of money. My son’s father is deceased so I had to bear the brunt of this. I had to refinance my house in order to pay this or I would have ended up in jail. I could have lost my job, my house, my life. I was not the one who chose to have sex without protection but I had to pay the consequences. I feel that my rights were trampled on by the courts. I was not treated fairly nor did I have a fighting chance to change anything.
Maybe you should have told your son to keep his pecker in his pants
He probably did tell him to keep things where they should be. Teens are hard to controll. I think your remark was unncessary and tasteless, not to mention insensitive to this poor mans’s plight.
I totally agree with you. I have a 16 1/2 yr old daughter who is pregnant right now and leaning towards wanting to have the baby. I’ve talked to my daughter regularly since about age 12 (because, in todays time, these kids know too much too young). About abstinence, waiting until older and in a relationship with someone that respects you and makes you feel special, etc. About, my not condoning the sex but, if she did to please use protection every time because, sex can be like Russian Roulette, you don’t know who has the killer virus and you can’t tell by the way they look, you can’t trust them telling you they don’t have anything because, they may not even know they have it yet. Make sure the condom is on correctly, you make sure, etc etc etc So, trust, I am so disappointed and can’t believe my daughter is not pregnant! You can’t control teens! They think they know it all – they can be hard-headed – they are feeling themselves. Hormones are raging and they may not think about the consequences of their impulsive actions. So, the person that said just tell the son to keep his penis in his pants is insensitive, don’t remember when they were a teenager and maybe don’t have a teenage child. There are very good parents who do almost everything right and still, their children get in trouble – it’s not always any fault of the parent. I take no blame for my daughter getting pregnant because, I know I said and did all I could in raising her to date.
Stupid reply
Parents should put their daughters (from the time they start to menstruate)- on birth control (preferably noroplant). I do think the parents/custodial parent parent (by now they’d be the grandparent(s)) -of the minor child/son should have to pay SOMETHING to the minor mother to help pay for expenses. Unless I’m wrong- I understand that the minor male doesn’t have to pay anything till he’s 18! Really? What about the 4 years till then?
I am sure this young man was told to “keep his pecker” in his pants. As most young men are. They choose to ignore this grand advice. And don’t forget to the girls, keep “skirt down, your legs together” or whatever tidbit advice they are given. It takes 2 don’t forget.
You are an uneducated idiot.
I have worked at a high school for years and I feel for the young men at school. These girls come to school barely covering anything private yet the boys are told to be respectful and don’t touch girls inappropriately. These girls torment these young men and the principal should be ashamed of himself. But he does not enforce dress codes . Why would he… because he likes to look at it…. I am appalled with the pathetic scrutiny of teen pregnancy. First place you should look is in the lunchroom. Parents I urge you to sit in the lunchroom, cafeteria and watch. I have to say most of the teens that are pleasant and respectful are the young men they are eager to help anyone and the majority of young men will help someone in need before the young ladies will even say thank you. Parents I urge you to take a stance and demand a dress code in the schools and if you choose not to care if your daughter is coming to school barely clothed than you have no right to expect a young man to understand why he should be taking care of a child from your daughter who shows up at school with promiscuous clothing and flaunting her body on these poor young men. Just saying…..I have worked at the schools for years and I have seen things that are so inappropriate and the school district and most importantly ; the school principal have an obligation to set boundaries for our children so that we don’t have unwanted teen pregnancies.
While I totally agree that dress codes should be enforced in schools, I disagree with the inference that how a girl dresses invites the sexual behavior that may get her pregnant. Lets be clear. Yes it is enticing, however, if a young man has been taught to value HIMSELF as much as girls are expected to be taught to value themselves, then young men would not only discourage the seductive outfits, but also not gravitate to them. Girls MIGHT wear the outfits because its all that they have to wear. OR they MIGHT wear the outfits because it’s the young men who pay her the most attention and and praise her for wearing the little skirts and tops. There are strippers who have NO kids and there are girls who play basketball and wear clothes that fully cover them, who have many. Appearance is not the blame, lack of self esteem and direction is.
Yeah. Girls should just wear burquas so the poor boys don’t have to be tempted. That’s working out so well in Afghanistan…oh, wait.
Dress codes have nothing to do with teen pregnancy. Open and honest communication about sex and all options to avoid pregnancy and STIs are far more meaningful than shaming young women and demanding they cover up because hapless young men simply can’t control themselves. You’re reinforcing the stereotype of “slut” for girls and painting boys as innocents who “just can’t help themselves.” Shame on you.
Obviously you don’t have children because Kids DONT LISTEN especially teens wish it was that easy to just say keep your dick in your pants lol ? and why him why doesn’t the girl take responsibility to protect herself from getting pregnant why is it always the guys fault ??
I’m sorry, but obviously you didn’t raise your son right. Perhaps you were too strict and cold with him and he rebelled, or you were too lax and failed to teach him morality. Either way, he’s you’re son, and his mistakes are a reflection of yours, and you should have to take responsibility for that. I don’t understand a grandparent who wouldn’t want to make sure that their grandchild was well taken care of and happy. I would give the shirt of my back to make sure my grandchildren were happy, healthy, well-fed ect..
PLEASE don’t pass judgment on someone’s parenting skills here. You have no clue who you are responding to and their circumstances. The best raised children can and do make mistakes. Keep your comments positive for those who may not have any other avenue to look for compassion and support.
Now that is the most ignorant thing I’ve read here…”I’m sorry, but obviously you didn’t raise your son right” – nothing is obvious, you don’t know that person. How can you judge something that you know nothing about? I agree that sometimes it’s those things you mentioned as the reason why teenage pregnancy but, that is not the case in every situation. You need to personally know the parents to offer up an opinion like that about their parenting skills. Morals? If your such a moral person I would think your a Christian? I believe GOD is suppose to do the judging NOT YOU! And, I agree with the person that said that even the best raised kids make mistake. As, a matter of fact, all humans make mistakes. Are YOU perfect? Were YOU a perfect parent? Were YOU a perfect child? etc Of course not, your showing some imperfections in you comment alone. You don’t know that you should have more info to make an informed opinion or judgment – you APPEAR stupid to me and most definably on a moral high horse that you need to dismount!
How do you know they didn’t raise their son right? Were you there every minute of every day? Also, it’s absurd for grandparents to be *forced* by the big bad gubmint to pay child support for grandchldren. The grandchildren had the fun. Let the non-custodial kid who had fun pay.
I ran across this trying to find out information, as my son has impregnated his girlfriend and I am afraid she is going to make the mistake of keeping it. I would like to say I do not question my parenting I was not overly protective nor was I too lax! Do not feel it the responsibility of the grandparents to pay for it, an abortion, yes, but not to raise the Abomination! nor do I want it in my house, nor do I want to see it, it will not have our last name, and until my son is 18 years old he will not see it either, and if she does she does decide to keep The Wretched little thing we will put our house up for sale and move out of state to ensure that he will not be able to see it, at least for 2 more years at which point he can make the decision if he wants to have a relationship or just pay the support which is what we recommend.
The only statement you make that I can agree with is that a grandparent should not be responsible for the rearing of a grandchild, unless circumstances are such that they choose to or the parents are unable to due to anything other than not wanting to, such as death or disability.
However, I take extreme umbrage with all the rest of your tirade. I understand your frustration. You probably did all the right things, however, free will and hormones conjugated and so did they.
I practice non-judgment, BUT, here I go with the demon called Judgment: The only mistake this girl made was getting involved with a young man that had the unfortunate reality of having you for a parent. How dare you call a child of God an Abomination or The Wretched little thing. That child is part of your blood, bone, and sinew. That child may very well be the one to cure cancer, diabetes, or bring about world peace, then you would be declaring how wonderful he/she is and how they are related to you.
From the small excerpt of your situation, I can determine that money is your priority instead of being a tool to further your life.
I can see where your son got the impression he could do as he pleases with no regard for responsibility.
God Bless you because what you put in the Universe has a boomerang effect, so get ready. Universe answers.
I would have beat his ass. He would have been working to pay me every single cent back
I am on the other end of this situation. I am the grandparent of my 16 yr old daughters baby. I am totally supporting my grandchild and my daughter with no help form the fathers parents. So is it fair to me to foot the bill for everything. And of course, me and my wife both work so we are not able to receive any help from the state. I think the grandparents of both underage teenagers should be held accountable for the baby. I don’t think it should be based on your income.I think it should be split on how much is spent per month to raise the child.
So, why don’t you contact the boy and his parents and tell them you need them to help with the financial support of the baby? If they refuse or ignore you,….take them to court.
The court will probably want the boy to have a test done to prove he is the father, if he says he isn’t, and then they WILL require him, or his parents to help finincially with raising the child. I would do this NOW, as it will be much harder to get him to start paying child support five or six years from now! Go and get your grandchild the financial support they deserve! Even if you take that money and put it away for the child’s college or trade school education!
I too have a 17 year 3 month old that got pregnant at 15 and have been told I am obligated to pay for all expenses incurred. She refuses to leave the house and bring in rude people and her boyfriend who became a squatter. I have other children in the home to look after. I have contacted social services and all I want to do is relinquish my parental rights to this ungrateful child. The police have come to my house countless times since her friends attack me yet since she is a resident minor, she can bring in whoever she wants into MY home. Where are my other children’s rights when she threatens them? This system really needs to change. If she decided to have the child with her one night stand then she should be held responsible.
Honestly, I would pack up my other children, leave behind everything but the most important, pics, paperwork, clothes, and a few necessities we can never live without, and MOVE.
Sound drastic? Well desperate times call for drastic measures. Let her find her footing when the very foundation she has been trampling on is yanked out from under her. I would check out the legal rights you have to not have anyone else besides your own children in the house. The friends and baby daddy should not be allowed free access to YOUR home when she is still a minor. And, I assume does not pay any bills.
No one is saying you are a saint and she is satan, however, you should be treated with respect and love, and she should be grateful that she does have a parent able to help her.
I want to know if it is possible to require care for minor’s child by not only the father but the father’s parents. More than often, a teen girl gets pregnant and haves the baby. If the mom doesn’t do everything for her child, generally the mom’s family is buying diapers, formula, water, clothes… WHY is it assumed that the the minor daddy’s family do not support their grandchild living with maternal family.
Teen guy comes over and often the teen mom is grateful to have him in her life. But companionship is not stepping up. Babies require more than a body to sleep on. Teen dads don’t seem to have any responsibilities emotional, supportive, or financially AND so do his family.
Most teen mom’s have parents who with not let the baby suffer from crappy parents and pick up the slack. WHY can parents of the teen dad not held in this regard?
I would just like to add that my son fathered a child and we were told at the time the girl had a miscarriage…Almost 2yrs later she brings the child to us and there is no doubt my son is definitely the father…Unfortunately we are having to jump through hoops just to get to know my granddaughter as the young mother has to acquire her mothers permission…both of the parents are about to turn 21 and we were not included in her life sooner due to the mothers wishes. My son wants to do his part financially, emotionally and he wants to have visitation which has become an ordeal trying to gain approval from this overbearing and controlling woman…the wholr thing is frustrating not to mention heartbreaking’
bob
I’d kick her out or relinguish all rights to her. Teen Mom can live on the Government. My old Platoon SGT Kicked his teen step daughter out when she refused to have an abortion.
My daughter had a baby at 15. The father has never really been involved very much and is more into partying than anything. My daughter and her son live with me. She is still a minor so I support her. But the father who is now 18 should have some responsability. I buy everthing for my grandson because I dont want him to go without anything. Can I ask for child support? Or does she have to do that? I tried talking to her about it but she wont listen to me. She doesnt want to ask for child support, but I am the one who is providing the nessesities for this child not her.
I want to know if there really is a way to enforce the teenage father’s parents to help support my daughter who became pregnant from their son. The teenage (16 years old) boy and my daughter (16 years old) are both responsible and my daughter is choosing to keep her baby. I am fully willing to support her and my grandchild and we have a great relationship. She is a wonderful girl and is willing to accept the responsibilities of her actions. The teenage father and his family say it was only SEX and nothing more. They are not being supportive at all and the boys parents are not holding him responsible for his part. We are in SC. I feel they should help provide for this child! However, the boys mother told me he was getting a lawyer to relinguish his rights as a father to this child. Does that make him not responsible?
That mother can get a lawyer for her son all she wants – he can’t relinquish his financial responsibility for his child just because he wants to!!! Oh NO! However, your daughter can go to court to get child support and it doesn’t matter if it was just sex or a one night stand. The boys, if they don’t want to father children and have the responsibility of a child have rights to – the right to put a rubber on it! It takes two to make a baby and both should take care of the baby. Now, as far as I know, if the mom gets married for instance and her new husband wants to take care of the child, the mom can ask the real father if he will relinquish his rights to the child – but, just as he couldn’t get a lawyer to release him of his responsibly, she can force him to relinquish his rts either if he doesn’t want to. It’s not an easy thing to get rid of the responsibility of having a child, once they are here your legally on the hook until they are 18yrs old and an adult themselves.
He cannot relinquish his right just because he “feels” he does not want to be a father. I was in a similar situation inly 15 and him 16. He wanted to give up his rights and the state would not let him. There needs to be someone financially responsible for the child and if your daughter gets any state help, they will come after him anyways. The answer to your question is yes. You can go after his parents to support the grandchild, but be prepared to fight because they may say they don’t want anything to do with the child, but once they are forced to support him/her… you better believe that they will put up a fight to get visitations and all.
I have a 15yr old whom had a baby. Which both of them lives with me. My grandson father is a minor ad well. I try working with my grandson (father family ) at the beginning they said they was going 2 be to help support the child with me. They always crying they are broke and I don’t want 2 hear anymore if me and my family can go out here buy Pampers, wipes, anything for my grandson. Now what I did is if they don’t start chipping in with supporting then I’m going 2 take actions with legal issues obtaining child support. The father going 2 tell me u can’t do that. So what I want 2 know if I can take them for child support?
I too have a son, age 18, that got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. He is trying to be responsible, but is a very angry young man as he realizes the magnitude of what bringing a child into this world means. He is not 100% sure it is his child either, so plans to pursue a paternity test and legally determine child support and visitation rights. The two have split up which has put more strain on their ability to communicate in a rational manner about the baby. My husband and I have talked about whether or not we were explicit enough about the things we talked to our son about in regard to sex, relationships, marriage, and having children. If I could go back in time, I would be much more explicit. You think the values you have instilled through setting an example would be enough, but now I think not. Teens are still kids, they need to experience life out on their own before taking on the responsibilities of child rearing. As a society, I don’t think we are doing enough to educate our children about the responsibilities of being a parent; and I don’t think we are providing enough information to our children through school programs. And, yes, as a parent, it makes me feel like I wasn’t tough enough. In the end, everyone pays, so it is a societal issue we need to do a better job of addressing. Having a son that is going to potentially be a dad at age 18, I can’t express enough what an emotional issue this has been for our whole family. All of this aside, there is a child that will soon enter this world that will bring much joy.
Teen age male parents stand up! Parents of teenage males make them stand up if they’ve gotten someone pregnant. They’re just being responsible and getting a head start on the world and being a better person and father it won’t hurt.He was man enough to have sex without protection. He’s man enough to take care of this child. Stop making ongiong nice personal excuses for him. Stop blaming these teenage girls. He put them both in her, his penis and his sperm. MAKE HIM TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S NOTHING TO PLAY WITH OR RUN AWAY FROM!!!!!! Make him responsible to step to the plate so it won’t happen again. That’s the problem when it comes to teenage pregnacies. The males parents gets childish and irresponsible as their son was making the baby. A baby didn’t ask to be here. The female did not do it alone.
My son is taking responsibility. No excuses made!
What happens if teen girls Parent’s aren’t interested in ” Stepping UP” and leave to her own devices with baby? Not all older parents are willing to basically do it all over again.
My son had a one night stand with a girl that became pregnant. Both 16 years old. We have has visitation with our 9 month old grandson almost every weekend since he was born. Paternity was established and we the parents of the minor father have been supporting and providing for the baby since birth. The mother is very mentally unstable and abusive to everyone around her. She uses the baby as a tool to get what she wants for her own personal use. And when we refuse to give her what she wants she keeps him from us. However anything for the baby that’s needed we provide. She’s controlling and the whole family is a very mean and dysfunctional family. She was molested by her step father whom the mother never left. Minor mom lives with her gramma who is crippled with arthritis and the minor mother makes her crippled gramma take care of the baby so she can have her bf spend the night all the time. We want joint custody or full custody but we are afraid of losing . All we want us for our grand baby to have the best chance at life for healthy growth and developments mentally and physically. She does not provide this. What are the chances of success of proving a mother unfit? We have all kinds of verification of her threatening to kill herself when she doesn’t get her way. It’s very stressful and we worry about the baby when he’s not with us. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely, broken hearted gramma
My son and his girlfriend at the time have a beautiful 3 month old child. I really feel sorry for children who dont have dads like my son! My son has my grandchild 3 1/2 days a week and fully suports her, fully takes care of her, loves and nurtures her. Yes i baby sit while he is in school, but he does the rest. Mom is responsible while she has her the other 3 1/2 days. The problem we face is insurance. He cant get insurance through his job she has no job and wont go to medicaid and law says i cant get insurance for her. Now what!
My son and his girlfriend have are which are 20 and 17 need advice they both stay at her mothers home and they both want to come stay at my home until they can save money to get there own place. my grandson is two months old His girlfriend will finish high school this January would like to know if her and the baby would be able to have there own Medicaid they are under her mother at the moment on Medicaid. Both of them feel they would do better here with me the home they are in is not the cleanest and her mother is planning to move to a smaller home and she has two other sons. The girl friend is upset about all of this her mother told her she and my son could go get there own place , but would like to get money together first we are in the state of Virginia
my grandbaby has an unlegal Mexican mother. she and my son are married to other people but they live together. my son hasn’t made her legal and she is 3 yrs, old. legally the state sees this women’s husband as the legal father. we can’t even take her to court. she has mistreated the baby but if I bust a move on that, I wouldn’t be able to see her. I have kept her everyday wile they work. they won’t even pay me. I can’t put my foot down for fear they will cut me out and she needs our love so bad. she cries everyday when they come after her. any move I made could be fatal for my baby. we love her dearly. I can take the crap for her. so be glad even if you can’t see yours at least you don’t have to worry about them disappearing and you cant do anything to stop it. pray for me.
Why are you even asking if the father should be paying child support?? Of course, he should be! Go to court, file a motion yourself…..you do not need a lawyer…….Explain it all to the judge…….On the motion write down the entire story….what you want…..(The dad and his parents to pay their share of child support) and why you want it……You have been doing this for the past year/ months, etc. and need help and it is his baby and he should help support it! Do not wait a minute longer or they will say you do not really need their help as you never asked for it in court before!
My daughter had a baby at 15 with a guy who was 23. We knew nothing of the guy. shed sneek out at night when we thought she was sleeping. My daughter takes the majority of the physical care of my granddaughter, however, we are providing 100% of the baby’s support. My daughter does not work, and child care is very expensive for an infant, we work all day and cannot stay home to care for the baby while she works. The father has not paid for one thing in the baby’s 7 months of life. Can I apply for child support since Im supporting the baby? Shouldn’t it be my choice to apply for support even if my daughter doesn’t want to? Is it our responsibility to support the baby because my daughter is an minor and was not married?
First of all, at 23, the father is legally responsible for financially supporting his child. YOU are not. File a motion with an attorney, or if you cannot afford one, file the motion yourself! Cost about $30. The judge will take it from there. Your daughter is a MINOR. She is YOUR responsibility and you can do whatever you feel is best for her and your grandchild, (her child).
It is very important you have him financially support his child, or you will be for the next 21 years. Your daughter is too young to really understand the financial burden raising a child will be. You are the adult, do what needs to be done for your daughter and your grandchild.
First of all, at 23, the father is legally responsible for financially supporting his child. YOU are not. File a motion with an attorney, or if you cannot afford one, file the motion yourself! Cost about $30. The judge will take it from there. Your daughter is a MINOR. She is YOUR responsibility and you can do whatever you feel is best for her and your grandchild, (her child).
It is very important you have him financially support his child, or you will be for the next 21 years. Your daughter is too young to really understand the financial burden raising a child will be. You are the adult, do what needs to be done for your daughter and your grandchild.
23 years old haveing sex with a 15 year old kid, screw child support land his ass in jail. Dont stand for a grown man molesting/raping your daughter
Well, AR,…..You are EXACTLY right! But, if these grandparents are allowing their 15 year old daughter to bully them into not going after him for child support, I doubt they are strong enough to charge him with raping their daughter……which, they SHOULD definitely do!!
MMontanez,……I hope you have contacted Family Services at your county courthouse and asked them the first steps you have to do to start getting financial child support from the baby’s father. If you have not, do so immediately, like today! They will tell you exactly what steps and in what order you need to take. At 15, your daughter should be having a part time job for the summer. I imagine she is still in high school. She should have a part time job during the school year also, even if only 1 night a week. I hope you are letting her take responsibility for her baby and insisting she watch the baby and care for him/her when she is not in school and not working.
I had my son 10 years ago when I was 17. I applied for public assistance with medical bills and to process the application they required me to fill out a form for child support against my parents. At the time my dad kicked me out for being pregnant and not having an abortion so I stayed with my now husband’s family. I was not required to fill out child support forms for the paternal grandparents. As a mother to an almost teenage son I realize that this subject is in a gray area. Should the government provide support for an underage child and their child when you are not contributing at all? It is legally our responsibility to provide for our children until they are 18. A teen parent requires an enormous amount of parenting so they can fix the mistakes they have made and get on the right track.
My daughter was 16 when she got pregnant by a 20yo. She is now 17 and has a beautiful little baby girl. My daughter and my grand baby live with me. My daughter is a wonderful mom even though I taught and expected her to wait to have a baby! He is on the birth certificate, but are now broke up. Since she has broke up with him, he is showing his true colors. He has threatened to kill my daughter, calls her every name you can think of, tells her he hopes she dies and he will make her life hell, that no other man could be with her. He has not paid for 1 single thing. His mother has gotten involved doing the same things, calling my daughter names and threats to beat her up. I don’t know what to do! He could be charged with statutory rape in Texas, I think. I really don’t have money to hire an attorney. If I “tell on him” meaning his age, I think he would go to jail without me pressing charges. Should I do that or try to get him to relinquish his rights or demand child support that he refuses to pay? I don’t see him nor his sick family adding anything to my grand child’s life but hate and fights. I don’t want to hurt anybody but I have to protect my child and granddaughter. Please any advice would be helpful!
First of all, how is he able to verbally abuse your daughter? Is she still going out with him? Does he just show up at your house and call her names? Call your county courthouse….family division….and tell them your situation. They will be able to give you contact numbers on free attorney consultation and perhaps representation. Sit down with a notebook and write everything down that has happened…..when, where and what dates did he call you daughter names? The same with his mother. Write down all and anything you remember that happened or that he or his mom did to abuse your daughter verbally or otherwise….all threats, everything. You may need this record at some time.
You can also call Catholic Charities, even if you are not Catholic. They will have numbers where you and your daughter can get help and help you decide what to do. Let them know the threats he has made to your daughter. Good Luck.
Thank you for the advice! He has threatened to kill my daughter. Threatened to call CPS and make false accusations, to take their baby, to turn the baby against her, he sd he will make it so no other man would ever want her. The list could go on and on. The dad has decided he better stop acting so bad. He has apologized. His mom has stopped with her harassment. Thank God! We did go talk to an attorney yesterday. We did get some advice. I know every state is different. In Texas if a child is born out if wedlock, the child is illegimate. Even if the father signs the birth certificate. I didn’t know that. He has NO rights whatsoever until he gets an attorney. If he and his mother continue the ugly behavior, we can put a restraining order on both of them. Thank you!
I am glad you went to the attorney…..many give free 1 hour consultations for the first visit……However,….your daughter probably does not have much money, so I believe she will qualify for free representation. Again, the Family Division at your county courthouse can give you all this information and steer you in the right direction. I mention Catholic Charities because they have outreach centers almost everywhere……They will give free concealing to your daughter and you and work a lot with abused women and help them understand their situation and what they can do about it. Stay strong…..make sure your daughter stays aware of her surroundings….he sounds like a real nut.
It seems many have failed to read the entire 18 USC 666(a)(18). The very last part is critical, “against the parents of the noncustodial parent of such child.”
This would seem that a non custodial father or mother of a minor who has a child out of wedlock, would be liable for paying child support for the minor child’s child. This of course would be at the discretion of the state, but with state’s desire to control costs it may become more used to recover money paid for the care of the grandchild.
The question I have is, would the child support order terminate for the grandchild once the child in the original order reaches the age of majority, or would it continue. The law makes no reference to when it would terminate, so would that also be at the state’s discretion as long as no marriage occurs?
You have to consult a divorce/child custody attorney in the state you live in to answer your questions. Most will give a one hour FREE consultation. That said,……When the parent of the child reaches 18 years of age…..They are then considered adults by the court. They are then responsible financially for raising their own children. Yes, they will have to get a job,…….and go to school part time at night, if college is what they want……
Personally my 1 step daughter is pregnant and dosn’t even know who the father is. My wife is 42 and dosn’t work. I’ve told her she can go live with her Dad if she wants to keep the Baby. I’m 54. Both my son are grown and in the Army. I’m simply too old to be raising babies that aren’t even mine. I retired from the Army and want to enjoy my retirement, not change diapers and get up in the night to feed a baby. Plus the extra expenses like formula, diapers, Etc. I didn’t sign up for Baby.Did’nt do the crime, don’t want to do the time.
And you shouldn’t have to raise a child that belongs to your step daughter. Maybe adoption would be the best thing in this situation….I don’t know…..but, if she is talking about keeping the baby…..moving in with her dad or adoption may be the best thing. She must find out who the father is if she is going to keep it. The father will be responsible for half the finances of raising the baby.
This is why our world is so messed up. .people judging other people and their circumstances. We are living in a sick world… I think it is awful that you would now force grand parents to pay child support? Many people are struggling financially as it is…even the government is in debt. Our economy is in the worst shape than it has ever been. So we are already have an broken child support system..throwing people in jail who cant not keep up with there payments..due do hardships. Making too high where they can’t pay it..allowing mothers to abuse the system to get revenge on the fathers. ..and the end results children suffer..broken relationship. .teenagers looking for love in all the wrong places..drugs alchol..mental health and on and and on we can go…
My friend is 16 and her babyfather is 15 and still in school can he pay child support at his age? And if not can a family member help pay for him
If a 16yr old girl has a baby with an 18yr old boy, who has custody of their child? Does the girls mother have custody of their baby? Or would she need to take it to court to get custody? Or does the minor girl still have sole custody? What if the boy’s name is on the birth cert. Does that mean he gave DNA and therefore did in fact establish paternal rights??
I need the answer to this as well my son is 18 his girlfriend 17 baby will be born 3 months before she’s 18 she does not want her family to have any control over the infant so do we have to get court order or when he signs birth certificate at Hosp does he have legal guardian ship?
I came on here trying to get answers for a dear friend, who needs help with this.
I have a 26 year old son, who just began practicing law and a 23 year old daughter finishing nursing school.
After reading these horror stories, I am so grateful that both my kids turned out so well and didn’t go down these paths.
I am very sorry for everything you parents are going through. Know it must be so painful. And none of you deserve it.
But also makes me wanna give both my kids giant hugs and tell them how proud I am of them!!
Hope things improve for each of you:)
I am 17 years old and my child is 9 months old. The father of my child is 19 years old and I just wanted to know if he decided to go to the Navy since we aren’t married do the child support check that comes from the father go to me or my mom.
I don’t know,……But, I would make sure they go to the person that is going to make sure the money from the child support is used wisely to help feed, clothe, and support your child.
I’m a single mother myself, my 17 year old son got a 16 year old girl pregnant. the girl was living with her grandmother because mom (with 4 different children 4 different daddies) has been in and out of rehab. when her family found out about the pregnancy they dropped her off on my door step. 3 1/2 years later after I supported both minor children and my grand daughter they broke up do to drug habit from both of them. I have raised not only my son,(AND my own daughter, my other two were already out on own= by one father=) but his ex girlfriend and my grand daughter as my own. she put a false protective order on my son and while he was in jail, the court granted it….but when he got out of jail they were back together and living in MY house again. My son is now in drug court ( she was his accomplice, but never got in trouble)(they were stealing from me for drug money) he is doing great and she was supposed to go for detox (said she did for 12 hours) but has moved out of my home again with my grand daughter and living in NOT the best of situation and …. is now going after child support from my son…..and back child support from him from the time baby was born until march of this year. WHEN I SUPPORTED THEM!! now that I have set the scene…..1) can I go after child support for raising a minor child that isn’t mine and dropped on my door step? and if so she is 19 now what is the statue of limitations?
2) do I need to call the child support place and let them know that I have been supporting them and will that open the door for further investigation on the grandparents and mother?
any and all input will be greatly appreciated.
Omg! I cannot believe some of the judgmental ignorant people! Nobody wants their teenage son or daughter in a situation like this, but would you jeopardize your relationship with your child because of their mistake? It’s God’s place to judge and your place to help your child through the situation whatever the decision is. Our God is a forgiving God and you should be too. No one is perfect. Not even you!
Mr. Forman
I’m fourteen and I want nothing but to be a mother, obviously not now but when I’m older. I understand that our parents shouldn’t have to pay for something that we made on accident, we made a mistake we should pay for it. However I’m curious as to what you think we should do? Work at McDonalds for 9 months and hope we don’t end up killing ourselves and the baby? Hit our stomachs repeatedly and hope it works out, or maybe stab which do you think is a better idea? Not being able to pay for an abortion those are really the only options. Honestly you people its not even a matter of parents as much as it is of people being people, I mean I could understand not helping someone who doesn’t want to make a life for themselves and their child but what about the children who want nothing but to continue on with their lives despite their accident and even make a future for their child? You made us and if we get a puppy aren’t you going to pay for the food? (Obviously not the same thing but an example.) We literally have nothing but you why wouldn’t we look to you when we fall?
What are my rights as a grandparent to my granddaughter my daughter was 16 when she became pregnant and is now 17 but still lives with me and so does the baby they spend a few days a week with father. He went and put the baby on foodstamps even though she has medical thru my case and i get medical and foodstamps for my daughter as well.
My 15 year old son got his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant. I am researching and learning that ‘I” will become responsible for half the Child support. I am afraid this may affect my sanity. Let me give you some background why.
I am supporting my wife and 5 kids on a single income. I have been working since I was 16 and am now 44. I payed my way though college by working simultaneously and have steadily increased my income. I have my house half payed for and no other dept thanks to living very miserly and working long hours, doing my own car repairs, raise chickens, etc. But have not been able to get ahead enough to build any savings. I have worked from home the last 6 years and am a very involved Parent.
I waited on sex until I was married at 24. My wife and I had 2 biological Children and could not have more due to medial reasons. We Fostered 11 other children over the years, and adopted 3. We are staying at 5 and pouring our time into raising teenagers. We teach love, humility, and selflessness by modeling.
As you can see, I put my young adult life on hold, need more time to devote to my wife, and look forward to being an empty nester and a grandparent.
Well my 15 year old son has required 4 times as much parenting time and resources as the other 4 kids combined. He has been a rollercoaster between open rebellion, punching holes in walls out of anger, and then making real growth as a young man. I do NOT make a distinction between my bio/adoptedkids (he joined the family at 3 year old) except to say here it’s obviously his biology and not our parenting. At his age, we can’t protect him from bad influences, but instead we communicate with his friends parents constantly. Ask lots of questions. Make sure a parent is always home, Take any opportunities to talk with him. Watch for drugs.
But he is also a pathological lier. He has snuck away from school and friends homes and been with her more than a dozen times. He won’t lift a finger to even clean his own room yet alone help the household.
He needs perspective to understand his family loves him, and we are on the same team. He needs a little hard love and some real life consequences (and rewards). He needs to be working for food and not prowling for sex as his lifes mission.
I am willing to bare though his issues. But I took this precious boy’s problems on voluntarily on behalf of some dick gland from the hood that would not. If the government comes after ‘Me!’ to pay for more of this guys seed….BE Afraid.